I wish I’d come across this book when I was mired in the muck of my midlife crisis! The topics Brene Brown covers here absolutely echo the challenges I was facing then and ones I see in my clients now.
Challenges like being enough, bouncing back from adversity, expressing who we are, how to find joy and hope, what is meaningful work anyway? These are parts of what she calls wholehearted living, which is: engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. And to cultivate our worthiness we need to practice courage, compassion and connection.
She provides 10 guideposts to use along the journey to wholehearted living which include things like: authenticity, self-compassion, resiliency, gratitude, joy, intuition, faith, creativity and meaningful work. These are daily practices we can draw upon to cultivate that worthiness and to lean into wholehearted living.
One of the big concepts that’s really resonating with me is our worthiness is something we HAVE to believe in, to cultivate. If we don’t believe in our own worthiness, we end up hustling for it. We try to perform, be perfect, people please – all in an effort to feel like we’re worthy of belonging.
This took me back to one of my big a-ha moments during my midlife crisis: the moment I realized how much time energy and effort I spent on comparing myself to others, especially on social media. I caught myself actually thinking: what can I do today that’s special enough to post on social media. What? Do I really want my decisions to be based on some silly space that people use as a distraction from their own uncomfortable feelings? That shift away from‘performing’ to be ‘worthy’ was a huge moment for me. If I had read this book then I would’ve had some powerful tools to help me get through that much easier.
Another big concept I’m taking away from this book is just how important it is to express who we are. Her research shows that those who shy away from being authentic, who hide their talents and stifle their ideas set themselves up for self-loathing, depression and an unfulfilled life. We can use and express our gifts in many different ways, which often means practicing those gifts of imperfection: courage, compassion and connection.
When I was at my career crossroads, I was looking for how I could make an impact with my life, with my work. Hearing how important it is to lean into who we are would’ve been such a helpful guidepost for me. And this passage here especially, found on page 124: The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.
And to be clear – creativity here is all about how we each express our own unique gifts. It is NOT about any artistic talents we may have (or not).
I could go on and on about this book and the many moments that touched me, but I’ll leave you with these two takeaways and the hope that you too will read it and be as inspired as I am from it! I’d love to hear what you top takeaways are!
