Subtitled: The Making Of A Modern Elder
I love this book! Love it so much that it’s on my list of top three recommended books for people wanting more from their mid to late career!
So what makes it so good? For starters, it’s a great combination of inspiring, thought-provoking insights with practical, actionable ideas. But mainly, it’s Conley’s premise that our late career is an excellent time to become what he calls a “mentern” – a cross between a mentor and an intern. Someone who shares their wisdom with others while also learning new ideas and skills from others. It’s such a beautiful idea that embraces how we all have wonderful experiences, knowledge and skills to bring to the world and each other, no matter what our age.
For instance, older workers tend to have a much higher emotional intelligence – being able to read the room, so to speak, to communicate more effectively. Younger workers tend to have a much higher digital intelligence – how to use tech, the latest gadgets and apps. Again – just one example he uses – which does paint in very broad strokes – but definitely makes the point of how we can learn from each other across ages & generations.
But let’s back up a bit to cover the book’s central theme: how to thrive, not just survive, in our mid and late careers.
His four lessons to do so are to:
- Evolve: as in evolving our identities, being open to shedding the “costumes” we’ve been wearing, as he puts it
- Learn: adopting a beginner’s mindset, being that ‘intern’ as mentioned earlier
- Collaborate: especially with those who are different than us – other generations, industry experts, personality types
- Counsel: being open and available to mentoring as well as encouraging opportunities which foster effective mentoring.
Effective mentoring is a critical distinction. Mentoring effectively is operating from a place of improving the lives of others, not proving our own worth, as he so eloquently states. It’s not about our ego getting stroked, it’s about helping others. It’s also much more effective when the ‘student’ is ready to learn and feels a connection with the mentor. It’s up to the mentor to create that space of psychological safety.
And just like with all the other lessons, Conley gives the reader plenty of examples, academic studies, personal stories, and concrete, actionable steps to master the lesson of ‘counsel’
I also love Conley’s five markers of wisdom. He sees wisdom exhibited in the following ways:
- Good judgement
- Unvarnished insight
- Emotional intelligence
- Holistic thinking
- Stewardship
While most of the book uses examples and stories of how to bring and use wisdom to a workplace, he also has a chapter dedicated to career shifts, pivots, semi-retirement and other transitions.
There’s quite a bit more in the book I could go on about – he really did pack it full of helpful info – however I’ll end this review with one of his more aspirational passages, found on page 218:
“I am what survives of me,” famously wrote Erik Erikson in describing the war between “generativity and stagnation” at this later stage in our lives. We are generative when we move beyond our selfish needs and into serving something bigger than ourselves – whether it’s your children, the quality of your friendships, the health of a religious institution or charity to which you’ve been devoted, or the young leaders you’ve incubated. And it if often our wisdom – in whatever form it emerges – that survives us like a lasting fragrance that lingers long beyond our time.
Amazing, right? So if – when – you’re ready to go from surviving to thriving in your career, give Wisdom @ Work a read and let me know what your top takeaways are!
