Subtitled: The surprising truth about moving others
Here’s another classic—this one by the prolific bestselling author Daniel Pink.
The book has been around for over a decade, yet the principles are timeless. In fact, I’d say they’re even more important now as our work and communication increasingly rely on digital tools and screen-based conversations. Pink provides solid research and helpful tips on how to create real human impact when we need to influence, persuade, or inspire others.
But first—let’s talk about that dreaded word: “SELL.”
Most people hear “sales” and think of manipulation, pressure, or scripts. But Pink redefines selling as something much broader. He argues that we’re all in sales—even if we never touch a product. We’re constantly trying to move people:
- To align on a project
- To approve a budget
- To accept a proposal
- To see a new perspective
Pink calls this “non-sales selling,” and it makes up a big chunk of how we communicate every single day.
So, what helps us move others more effectively?
Pink introduces three essential qualities that make for effective, modern influence:
- Attunement
- Buoyancy
- Clarity
Let’s focus on attunement.
This is about understanding the perspective of the person you’re trying to influence. It’s what you might call connection in coaching, or empathy in leadership. But attunement goes deeper—it’s about dropping your own agenda (momentarily) and tuning into the needs, motivations, and emotions of the other person.
One of my favorite exercises Pink shares is called “The Time Traveler.”
Participants try to describe a modern item (like a smartphone or microwave) to someone role-playing as a medieval villager. It’s a brilliant and fun way to practice adjusting your language and assumptions based on your audience.
This reminds me of so many communication coaching sessions I’ve done—smart people trying to explain complex ideas to skeptical stakeholders. And yet, when they slow down, clarify their intent, and align their message to the other person’s frame of reference? That’s when the message lands.
Another key idea: clarity over access.
In a world where information is cheap and endless, what we need most is clarity. Your job isn’t just to dump facts—it’s to curate, simplify, and connect the dots. As Pink says, the best movers today aren’t problem solvers—they’re problem finders. The ones who can see what’s not working before it becomes a crisis.
So what’s the takeaway?
Whether you’re managing people, presenting ideas, pitching a new role, or trying to get your teen to clean the kitchen… you’re in the business of influence. And doing that well—without manipulation, hustle, or hype—means:
- Reading the room (attunement)
Staying positive through rejection (buoyancy)
Making things clearer, not just louder (clarity)
This book is a great read for anyone looking to lead, coach, collaborate, or connect more effectively—aka all of us.
So tell me—have you read To Sell Is Human?
What helps you connect and communicate with more ease?
